Have you ever been ghosted? And not in a Halloween kind of way.
I didn’t know it was a thing until a few years ago. And I certainly didn’t expect it at this stage of my life.
So, ghosting is when a person just completely falls off the Earth and refuses to reply to calls, texts, emails, or maybe even smoke signals.
It can be precipitated by nothing or anything. It feels like an unexpected breakup.
Let me explain it this way: Back in the day, if you were waiting for a boyfriend to call (you know, in the horse and buggy days), ladies waited to be called for a date. That call came via a phone that was attached to a wall by a cord. Stay with me here. If that phone wasn’t ringing as we expected, we would keep checking to see if there was a dial tone to show the system was working. Or, call the operator to ask if she could check to make sure the phone isn’t broken.
There had to be a reason.
But then your brain would start with the possible excuses.
“I know he would have called by now if he hadn’t been in a horrible accident and lost use of his dialing finger.”
“He must be laying on a deserted highway trying to crawl to a phone booth.”
“Maybe he lost his memory along with my phone number.”
At some point, you just realize he’s never calling back.
Usually, though, he would have the decency to just say he wasn’t interested. Hurtful but quick and to the point.
With the internet, it has made it so much easier to just ignore people. People break up by text all the time. Easier? Maybe, but no less painful.
I never really expected a friend to just stop all communication. It feels exactly the same rotten way it felt as a teenager when you were rejected.
I could never handle dating sites where a person may or may not be who they claim to be. It would be too easy for them to drop off the internet and leave you hanging in limbo. Not to mention there are potential scams everywhere.
However, you don’t expect to be completely dissed by a person who thought you know well.
I am in a situation where a trusted friend just stopped corresponding. No disagreement. There were no issues, at least that I can put my finger on. Just no contact whatsoever,
Trust me, it will mess with your mind. Maybe it’s the reporter in me, but I require answers.
"What have I done?"
"What did I say, or not say?"
"What did somebody else say?!"
The hardest pill to swallow is that I may never get closure.
It seems so ridiculous and unnecessary, at any stage of life, to toss aside a good friendship. I know most people don’t like confrontation; it is never fun, but sometimes it is necessary.
Backbones are vital, and so is communication. There should be nothing friends can’t say to each other.
I am curious to know, dear readers, if this has ever happened to you either in a romantic or friendly relationship?
How did you handle it?
How long did you continue to reach out?
When does it stop feeling like personal rejection?
Asking for my friend’s former friend.
