I suppose there’s a time in everyone’s life when they wonder what they will be remembered for.
What will be the legacy? What might the memory be that lives on?
I also suppose we should be grateful if anyone remembers us at all.
This thought crossed my mind as I attended the first funeral of the new year. This lady was one of the last surviving cousins on one side of my family and she always tried to get us all together at Christmas.
As it usually goes, once the grandparents are gone, there are fewer times when relatives get together.
It also hadn’t happened since COVID and all of us had missed it. Every year, dozens of us would be invited to a restaurant for their specialty, which was broaster chicken. It may not be something everyone has had so let me tell you about this delightful recipe.
Apparently, the brand name is Broaster Chicken and it was invented in Wisconsin in 1954. Basically, it's fried chicken, but done in a pressure cooker.
It's crunchy but not greasy, because it's made with less oil, so it may be a little more healthy. It's crisp on the outside, but moist on the inside.
But, it was never the health benefits we were interested in. It was just yummy.
Anyway, there seem to be limited diners where it is served.
A little Ontario town called Wheatley — down in the Windsor area — was famous for it. And it was where my grandparents raised their families so it was also ways a sweet homecoming to return.
So, the lady who always organized this meal recently died. She was 95. This special chicken dinner was even mentioned in her obituary, which gave me great joy.
I knew she would laugh that this was one of our treasured family memories. and that's what got me thinking.
In a lifetime, maybe it’s the myriad of little things we do for each other that really make a lasting impression. We spend so much of our lives trying to do big things and that’s maybe not the important stuff at all. Maybe it is not the big splash that matters, but the ripple effect.
I assume we all want to be successful in our jobs, acquire nice things, live in a nice home, travel and contribute to society.
But I really think it may be the smaller seemingly minor gestures people will cherish.
Maybe, it will simply be our contagious laugh, our bright smile, the way we told a story or our flamboyant fashion sense.
It might be the time we lent a friend a bit of money and didn’t want repayment.
Maybe it will be the thought of how a friend listened when we were feeling desperate.
More likely still is there will be memories of misadventures.
Friends will remember the time you fell out of the canoe on vacation.
What about when you failed miserably at putting a piece of Ikea furniture together?
How about all those bad dad jokes we endured as kids, but can still recount word for word decades later?
So many things make up a life well lived and it is rarely going to be about what's on a resume.
My cousin was a very religious lady who took great pride in family and honoured the past.
Full-circle moment for my family was when it was announced at Elaine’s funeral that we were all invited to a local restaurant to enjoy broaster chicken. There was a collective giggle and more than a few tears.
It was a perfect ending.
There we all were — five generations — dining together one more time.
I have no doubt she planned that ahead of her departure.
Maybe her legacy was a wing and a prayer.
