It has been a long time since I was in a classroom setting.
I had occasion to go to a course recently and what I figured out is that nothing much has changed since my school days.
I’m sure many of you who have taken special courses or upgraded training or gone back to school as an adult have experienced something similar.
Clearly, I should have been concentrating more on the information being disseminated than my classmates, but I couldn’t help observing a few things.
There are certain types of people in every situation. Have you met them?
It started with the school doors being locked well past the start time.
Why?
That was because there was a rule that the door could not be unlocked and people allowed inside until the lights were all on and a checklist completed. Health and safety.
So, there we stood in the pouring rain awaiting entry.
Let’s start there.
1. Rule followers: There have to be rules, for sure. It gives structure and ensures we are all on the same page. However, common sense is equally important. I would be a better student if not smelling like a wet dog. I am a big rule follower, but prefer rules that make sense.
2. Rule breakers: There are always a few who don't think rules were meant for them. They do not turn cellphones off when asked. They keep chatting away when asked to be quiet. Annoying!
3. The tattle tale: These are perhaps the most annoying. A lady rushed up to inform the instructor that someone was on their cellphone at the back. She also suggested there was some inappropriate humour. I am currently quite fond of whistle blowers, but not in this context.
4. The smarty pants: This is different from someone who really is smart and understands the material faster than most. I am referring to the ones who need to announce they are smart. They share stories nobody asked for. They have suggestions on how to do things better. Sit down and shut up.
5. The already-got the-T-shirt folks: These are the ones who, for whatever reason, have taken the course previously. They come fully prepared with the appropriate learning tools. They have all the answers. They have been there and gotten the T-shirt, as it were. They even brought a healthy lunch, plus snacks and drinks, because they knew we weren't going to get a break. I assume they wear Depends, because they also knew there were no pee breaks.
6. Pretenders: These may be my least favourite. They just "act" like they know what is going on. They do a lot of smirking and nodding. Smirking and nodding as if to say: "I have this all figured out and the rest of you are hopeless morons." Trust me, they don't understand it, either.
7. Keeners: I have no issue with keeners. They sit up front and listen intently. They are there to make the most of ther time and money and have no time for the rule breakers or smarty pants(es).
8. The irreverent keener: I made this up. It's me. I am keen to learn and I don't want to fail. But there is this nagging little character on my shoulder who finds it all so ridiculous. I can't help it. I find things funny.
So, I act all serious and try to do the right things, but inside I'm screaming out inappropriately: “Really, do we need 35 forms for everything? What about the poor trees? This is not a covert police operation.”
“I’m going to need more class time. What are they talking about? This is insane.”
“Can the been there/done that lady share her snacks with the class?”
“I wish tattle-tale lady would trip.”
“I am going to go get a dog so he can eat my homework.”
"I can't wait to get out of here to pee."
I admit I am not mature enough to attend adult education.
Did I learn anything? I am not quite sure. I wrote a lot of notes.
I was assured it will all make sense in due time. We shall see.
We had to fill out one last form to evaluate the course.
The last question was: “How are you feeling about the experience.” (There were drawings.)
I circled the emoji which showed spinning eyes, sweating scalp, red face and an expression of complete and utter confusion.
I hope I get an 'A'.
