Every single one of my conversations in recent months has gone something like this:
“There was this story on the news about the guy (y’know the guy from that movie) that was called (I can’t think of the name) but he played the person who invented that thing (y’know the thing we all use) and it was really good.”
I can’t get through one day without forgetting a name, password, storyline or what the heck I was planning to do.
Despite the possibility of it being age-related, I prefer and believe it goes back to the COVID-19 lockdown. I can almost guarantee I wasn’t this clueless back in February.
Honestly, I think the loss of my memory and my words could be due to the lack of socializing for the last several months. Add that to the stress and pressure felt during these uncertain times and I’m quite sure it has short circuited my brain.
At this point, I hope you are all nodding in agreement that this COVID Brain is happening to you, too. It's like we are all overloaded with thoughts and fears leading to intense discombobulation.
So, this is why I am giving a pass to the fast food workers who haven’t gotten an order right in three weeks.
It is just one of many things I’ve noticed in recent days. Every single order recently has been messed up.
I would have thought with no inside dining and therefore fewer customers that the drive-thru folks would be more diligent. I would be wrong.
Imagine my horror when I decided to treat myself to a glorious greasy breakfast sandwich one morning only to open the paper bag to find two pitiful, dry looking fruit and fibre muffins. There’s so little excitement left in my world and this was a moment of true despair.
So, while we’re talking about observations:
What is wrong with everyone in the drive-thru lanes? Vehicles do not have to physically distance from each other. Place your order and move the heck up quickly and efficiently.
Is it a passive aggressive thing? Drivers just sit in the lane, in the way, refusing to move up so the next customer can make it to the loud speaker. They aren't sorting money as mostly we are using our cards now.
Are they on their phones? Shouldn't be. As they dilly dally, the line is snaking out onto the main road and it is like gridlock on the 400. Move up! Drives me insane!
Here’s a weird thing I’ve noticed.
Why are there massive lines at every ice cream store? I have never seen lineups like it. Morning, noon and night.
Aside from the LCBO, the biggest lines are at DQ and Kawartha Dairy. It is not because its summer, ice cream was sold out in stores back in the winter too. There must be a connection between COVID and creameries. Seems odd.
People also seem obsessed with fireworks. I know it has been Canada Day/ 4th of July, but this year it seemed excessive.
There was no particular date or time just continuous explosions, pops and the hissing of sparklers. Maybe it's because we are now allowed outdoors in a bubble of 10 and this is a group activity? I’m unsure why but dogs everywhere wish you’d find another pasttime.
Here’s a couple of helpful hints for all of you wonderful mask wearers, too.
Don’t put your lipstick on under the mask or you will have to wash it more often. It’s a waste of good lip gloss as nobody can tell if you’re smiling.
Beware taking a breath mint, cough drop, lozenge while masked. The minty fumes will travel from your mouth directly up to your eyes like a burning Listerine gas. It is going to burn. You will tear up. Your glasses will fog even more than normal. It is like a brain freeze for your eyes. I give you fair warning.
I hope you enjoyed this column as it took me ages to remember the words that describe the thing about the place with the people. It is just like that movie with that guy who did the thing in that place. Remember, it had a song. What was the name of that again?
