Technology has hit the bottom.
Our bottoms.
I guess it all snuck up on me, but recently I noticed that I am now too dumb to figure out the public bathroom.
The biggest issue used to be to identify if the stick person on the outer door had a dress on or not.
I’m not quite sure what was wrong with a regular toilet and attached flusher lever, but there have been changes.
Have you noticed?
It used to be this was one of the few remaining places where I didn’t have to think. Nature took care of itself. Nope, it seems I will soon need an instruction booklet for the water closet.
Now, there may not be a flusher thing at all. There may be a button on the wall. There may be a button on the toilet.
There is not label that I could find. You just stand there, like a jerk. pushing things to see if anything triggers the flushing mechanism. You just stand there praying for water.
What is even worse is the toilet seat that has a sensor in it. Get up. It flushes. Sit down, it flushes. Sometimes it flushes before you are safely away from the potty thus serving as a bidet you didn’t choose to use. Then you have to go sit back down. Up and down. Down and up. Like a toilet seat, as it were.
If you safely navigate your way out of the cubicle - the fun isn’t over yet.
I was recently standing in front of a sink and literally had no clue what to do to get the water to begin. There were no taps.
Do I push a pedal at the floor? I have done that one before where water shoots out of the sink itself.
Do I stick my hand under the faucet and wait? How long do I wait? Long enough to sing a tune? Do I wave my hand under the faucet like a magic wand? The lady beside me had water. Is it rude to shove my hands in there with hers?
The one I saw recently can only be described as an airplane cockpit steering wheel. It was like a half a stainless steel steering wheel. You pushed it up for water. There were attached rods. One gave you soap.
The other side was the drier. I didn’t figure that out until I opted to use my pants as a towel. I wish I remember where I saw this contraption so I can remember never to return.
I used to really like those air driers until they did reports on all the nasty bits flying into the air and onto your hands.
I don’t like those turbo ones (likely made by Dyson) because it makes my skin look like its flying off my hands. It is creepy.
Given recent research that only 5 per cent of people wash their hands properly after using the restroom (according to medicalnews.com), I would think they would make it easier not more difficult.
Some swanky hotels have attendants in the washroom to hand you a real towel. I am now thinking we need bathroom assistants who can explain how the taps and toilets work.
I would even tip for that!