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Everything King: The inconvenience of online convenience

I rarely order anything online for delivery, but it was a lazy Netflix, pajama kind of night
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Variety is the spice of life! I used to think so but now I think there are too many choices!

Let me ask you this. Have you ordered a pizza lately?

I rarely order anything online for delivery, but it was a lazy Netflix, pajama kind of night.

First choose the pizza place. There are one million give or take. Choose a location which is close to your home.

Find the menu. This may take several minutes while they re-route you to head office, the reviews page or picture page. You will have to sign in to see the menu page.

Once I got to the menu, I figured “okay now we’re cookin’,” but noooooo.

What shape of pizza? Huh? Round or square?

How do you want it cut? I resisted the urge to type in “can you do it in fingers like my mom did when I was little?"

How do you want it cooked? Ummmm. "'Til its hot...?” No,no you have the choice of lightly done or well done.

What about the crust? Thick, thin, filled with cheese?

At this point, I needed a couple of cookies for sustenance as it was taking way longer than I expected.

What kind of pizza? Hawaiian, Greek, chicken pizza, veggie …or hold on… build your own??

That’s what I would do. As you add or subtract items, you can watch as they show up or disappear from a picture in the corner and then watch as the price rises (faster than the dough) in the other corner.

You’re not done yet!

Do you have a promo code? (no idea where I would have gotten that). Do you have a coupon?

Do you want to remember this order for next time? (I already don’t remember it this time!)

Do you want a pizza alert? (that sounds excessive)

Now you give your name, rank, serial number, address and special instructions like “doorbell doesn't work” or “cat will stare out window at you as you approach front door.”

Then you decide how to pay. By now, I am faint from hunger with barely enough strength to remove the charge card from my wallet.

Be strong! You are almost ready to check out when you hit the wrong button and it all disappears and you start over. Yes, there will be some weeping.

Take 2:  When do you want it delivered? Date and time and you can even book it for 14 days in advance!!!!

Whew! Done. Press finish.

Darn it – I forgot drinks.  Never mind – I will drink from my tap. Napkins? I’ll just use my sleeve.

Then you will get a follow up conformation email with a big long order number and a survey.

Please tell us what you most enjoyed about your ordering process? Did you find it fast and easy?

Friends, I’m just going to leave that response to your imagination.



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About the Author: Wendy King

Wendy King writes about all kinds of things from nutrition to the job search from cats to clowns — anything and everything — from the ridiculous to the sublime. Watch for Wendy's column weekly.
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