I cannot get rid of this queasy feeling.
Let’s just address the elephant in the room. The #metoo movement has come home to roost.
When it seemed we only had to look at it from a distance when Hollywood moguls started to fall from grace, it seemed remote.
Last week when two allegations of sexual misconduct took down the leader of the Ontario PC Party and Simcoe North MPP Patrick Brown, it hit far closer to home – literally.
I have no inside information. I know nothing more than what has been reported in the media. I have zero answers. I do, however, have a lot of questions. It's not even about THIS case, in particular. This is more about things that have run through my mind since #metoo and #timesup became a movement.
Maybe you also find yourself wondering what is the right thing to do and the right thing to think.
I have come to realize that if you don’t know the person who is being accused of sexual harassment, it takes no time to make the leap that it is probably true.
Take some of the Hollywood examples.
Remember way back to when comedian Bill Cosby was accused? Nobody wanted to believe allegations that he drugged women and took advantage. That was because he was funny. The dude pitched JELLO and wore cool sweaters. The accusing women were called liars or money grubbers. Even when the number of accusers grew to 20, 25, 40 and ended up around 50, he still has defenders. His case is making its way through the courts which is how it should be.
Here’s a question that nags at me. Are we more likely to believe or disbelieve accusations based on if we like or admire the person?
I had no problem believing the Harvey Weinstein rumours. I didn’t know him but he just looked creepy to me. Is that the standard now?
I didn’t want to believe it of Dustin Hoffman or Michael Douglas because I do like them and their movies. So, I didn’t give those much credence.
Not fair, I know, but true.
Do I believe 99 per cent of the women who have spoken up? I absolutely do. Who would want to have to recount the embarrassment or the pain? They are heroes and changing society for the better.
However, isn’t there always that slim chance it isn’t true? Aren’t there always two sides? Could there be vindictive accusers?
Once that gossip/rumour/report is out there, it is forever out there. My only concern was with saying that a retraction happens for a charge being withdrawn. Usually in my experience that would probably warrant an update. I know you're talking about your own experience, but I am leery of putting that expectation out there. How many people took notice of that? I’m going to guess not as many as heard the initial newscast. It is a strange new world where one allegation can ruin a career and, more frighteningly, a reputation. That’s a huge amount of power! It is scary!
Here’s the other thing that bothers me.
I believe that sexual assault/harassment is a very broad category. Always wrong? Of course, but it feels like it should somehow be gauged on a spectrum.
Again, just going by what’s been reported – the things Weinstein is alleged to have done to a roster of actresses seems to be at the extreme end whereas the alleged crude and somewhat juvenile actions of American Senator Al Franken seems at the other end of the bad behaviour spectrum. Should every person who does “anything” untoward lose their job?
How long until women with power, money and control are accused? You know that’s coming.
At this point, it feels as if we'd have a shorter list of people who didn’t behave badly these days. It is almost routine. How sad is that?
It is so easy to believe the worst of people. Too easy to mouth off on social media. Way too easy to be judge and jury when all we have is a headline.
As I say, I have no answers. For myself, I just feel like I need to put on the brakes and calm down. I need to back away from the urge to jump, react and pile on.
I feel like we are, as a society, on a runaway freight train going downhill and I am literally afraid of what wreckage awaits.
