We have all got enough problems with the current COVID-19 pandemic situation and the last thing we need is the added pressure of social shaming.
I thought long and hard about writing this column, but if it is happening to me it is likely happening to you, too.
What we all should understand by now is that each of us reacts differently to change, stress, new routines and rules. This situation is new to everyone, even the experts. Even if you try to listen to all the news conferences, specials and read a lot of articles from various sources, you can’t deny the suggestions sometimes change even daily.
Remember, it started with gatherings of more than 50 being allowed, then 20, then 10 and, at this writing, no more than five. We are all trying to adapt.
The numbers are constantly changing. We are getting mixed messages. The experts don’t always agree. Throw in the politicians and it all makes my head spin.
I am getting very discouraged by those on social media who have deemed themselves “COVID police” or “COVID experts."
My experience recently was very upsetting. I hesitate to write about it in case the bullying starts all over again, but with the intention or being completely honest and raising a serious issue, I will take my chances.
With an abundance of caution and forethought and after I think three weeks of self-isolation (not counting bank and grocery store visits) my friend and I decided to go for a drive in the country just to get some fresh air and see some scenery other than our own walls.
Let me make it extremely clear! We did not go together. We each drove our own cars. We did get take-out coffee, which I believe is still allowed.
We kept in contact by phone (hands-free, of course) and just went for a drive and took some pictures. We were never — I repeat never! — within six feet of each other or the others who were outside walking (also, still allowed if you're family).
An hour of different scenery did a world of wonders. I felt lighter and happier. I felt the funk lift.
Until — until I posted a couple of the pictures and the trolls came out.
The level of vitriol was insane.
“When were these pictures taken?”
“Who took these pictures”
“That doesn’t look like your house. Stay home!”
“You are being reckless.”
“It looks like you are flaunting your good health.”
Of course, all of this was framed as concern. If they were worried, maybe a private message would have been more sincere, rather than a public slam, which then brings out all the chirpers.
I don’t believe I did anything wrong. There were no more germs with a solo drive than going to a grocery store and standing in line with strangers all touching products, money or debit cards.
I found it very upsetting and such a double standard.
This is a small example.
I saw a story where people who are doing community purchases, and therefore had large buys, being openly scorned. People trying to do a good deed are getting berated because it “looks” like they are hoarding.
Things are rarely as they seem.
If you try to take advantage of seniors' early shopping, you better be sure you look well aged or you will be called out as a fraud.
My essential may not be your essential.
Even if others aren't doing everything you think they should be (and if it's not harming anyone), take a step back and stay silent.
I get it. People are scared and acting out. They have no control, so they are trying to control those they are in contact with through social media.
For the most part, it seems as if we are doing the best we can.
Towns are ghost towns and that’s great. (I mean horrible, but helpful.)
I just ask if you simply must comment negatively about someone’s choice do it privately and kindly.
With all the pain and fear, piling on is just not helpful.
Everybody is just trying to stay sane.
One of the big lessons I have observed from this situation is this:
* If you were a kind person before this pandemic, you have risen to the occasion and been more kind.
* If you have always been a jerk, you have also risen to the occasion and shown your truest jerkiest colours.
I fear with some of this negativity being spewed I will be social distancing from some long after I no longer am forced to.
